Well here we are again in the 2ww!

This is the 5th time we've been in the two week wait (2WW) - although more correctly it will be the 10 day wait this time.

We arrived back from Bangkok this morning after a very long, but largely uneventful flight.  I always hate overnighters.  I am one of those people that just can't sleep on planes - even with chemical intervention.

Our egg retrieval was scheduled for Monday the 25th of November.  To provide us with plenty of time, our flights were book for the 23rd - ensuring we built in plenty of time for any delays that may arise.  However, on Thursday the 21st the clinic sent us into a panic as the ED was showing signs the egg pick may be sooner than scheduled - perhaps on the 24th - with her 25 follicles (per the Thursday scan) suggesting the right time might be on Sunday.

Naturally, we started looking at changing flights or re booking new flights as if we had to be there on the morning of Sunday the 24th - our arrival on Saturday night (actually 1 am Sunday morning) would result in a very slim margin of error should our flights be delayed.  Particularly given we had to transit through Sydney and do the hellish domestic-to-international transfer with a 1 hour 45 minute window.  After getting a bit frantic and stressed, the news arrived late Friday afternoon that Egg Retrieval would be Monday 25th as scheduled.

We stayed at The Eastin Grand Hotel in Sathorn/Yanawa - joined by a pedestrian bridge at Surasak BTS station.  It was an exceptional hotel - and we're pretty hard to please.  Here's a pic of the infinity pool on the 14th floor.

Pool at the Eastin Grand Sathorn Bangkok

This hotel is one stop away from NewLife - but also has easy to access the All IVF clinic (where the "magic drop" happens) which is near Phloen Chit station.

On Monday morning we headed to All IVF.  Unlike our Indian experience, this was a far more organised, clean and sleek operation.  The staff were efficient but pleasant - and were very informed of what was going on.  Our details were on hand, they were expecting us and they had things moving along well. They seemed to be in control.  When we were in India last year - the only person who actually knew what was happening was Jay from SI.  I know in India the doctors had no clue what was going on or who they were "treating".  In India we never really knew what was happening next - but Thailand has been a completely different experience. 

So following our ED's retrieval on Monday, the numbers were as follows:

Astonishingly, 49 eggs were retrieved.  Of these

• 3 were GV (germinal vesicle) stage (very immature)
• 44 M2 (mature)
• 2 MI (less mature)

The next day, we were advised that 41 eggs had fertilised.

That same day we went to the NewLife offices to meet with Stephanie and Na to finally put some faces to names - but also have the privilege of meeting our ED and SM.  Our ED was lovely, had a wicked sense of humour and was just a lovely girl.  The SM was somewhat more shy, but assured us she was very confident of getting pregnant and was so pleased to be doing this.  Let's hope she's right. Both were elated when we presented them with some gifts of perfume.  If anyone reading this is going to Thailand for Surrogacy, a gift of perfume (we gave them both CK) will be a guaranteed winner. Here are some pics:

GB and the ED

GB and our SM

By Thursday (Day 3) the embryos were still trucking along, with a total of 27 embryos exhibiting a combination of grades 1 & 2.  The other 14 were still growing with good grading, albeit at a slower rate.  On Saturday we were informed that of the 41 embryos - 27 had reached blastocyst stage - with the 2 best being transferred and 25 frozen.
We're trying to steer clear of google as studies around the probability of success against number of eggs retrieved throws up some interesting results.

This time we're just relying on the skill of the embryologists and the luck of the universe that this time will be the one.

After our Bangkok duties - we headed down to Hua Hin for some reflection and R&R for the remaining few days in Thailand.  I don't think we'd go back to Hua Hin (for the simple fact that there isn't a great deal to do there and the beaches there are nothing compared to Ko Samui and Phuket), but at only 2.5 hours from BKK it offered a nice way to spend our last few days before heading home.

Devasom Resort Hua Hin (actually Cha Am)

So - once again, we wait for the outcome of our latest transfer. 

Fingers crossed!!!

Lady Luck - you have an appointment!

Attempt number four went ahead yesterday.

3 frosties were taken out of the freezer comprising:

2 x 8 cell Grade 1
1 x 6 cell Grade 1

All transferred into the surrogate as expected.

Hopefully this is the attempt where Lady Luck shows her elusive face.

The hCG test should be done on Saturday 2nd February, with the results available (I'm guessing) on the Monday 4th of February. 

So once again - we endure the 2WW.

And now for the comic relief!

A reality I'm sure I can cope with.... I think!

See you soon!

Hat trick of failure

We received our third negative result tonight.

I know we, and I'm pretty sure our friends, are tired of hearing the same old story. There's only so many times and ways people can commiserate with you about your unmet expectations. There's only so many times you really want to hear that something you imagined might never materialise.

I realise it's not the end of the world, and that heaps of other people have been in the same situation, and that there's plenty of time for more attempts. Nonetheless, it's a very hopeless and impotent feeling we're left with today.

I know I (GB) am struggling with the absolutely unverifiable trust that is implicit in this process. It doesn't sit well with my personality or background. And the issues our clinic is inflicting on us compound those feelings. I feel backed into a corner, financially and personally, and I wish it weren't so.

As before, time will pass and things will seem substantially less dire.  But, for the time being, I'm just really disappointed.

The only time weekends suck

Tonight, I'm looking forward to a comfy night in while the rain buckets down outside and GB heads off to a music concert.  The movie is ordered through Apple TV and pizza should be on its way anytime soon.  So I thought I'd scribe a blog entry while I wait, listening to the familiar sounds of Gardening Australia on the TV in the background.

Our SM should have had her beta HCG test today to find out if she's pregnant.  Based on past experience, SI wont have the results to us until Monday as their office is closed on a Sunday.  Hence the title of the blog.  As if the 2WW isn't enough, timing would have it that we have to wait an extra day.  Needless to say, we're fairly experienced with this part of the process being the 3rd transfer and all.

Over the last week, I've reflected on the last 12 months since we made the decision to undergo surrogacy through India.  I must admit, the optimist and naivety in me expected that we'd be pregnant by now.  Although financially we prepared for the worst case scenario that it wouldn't happen on the first attempt, I don't think we ever actually thought we would be at our 3rd attempt and the prospect that that too, might come back negative.

I think I have read nearly every surrogacy blog out there and the backstory to everyone who has successfully gone through the process.  Although statistically someone will always get pregnant on the first attempt - which happened quite a bit on the blogs I've read - I was hoping we wouldn't be in the group that still aren't pregnant after 3 attempts.  I have to admit, I'm kinda numb to the whole transfer process these days.  The only thing at the moment that elicits any level of emotion is opening up the financial tracking spreadsheet to see how much we've spent and how much longer we can continue.  It's not the emotion we are really wanting to experience at this stage in the journey.  I am unable to get excited at all about the process as it seems so fraught with disappointment and with odds stacked against you.  Add on top of that continuing "communication" and "integrity" issues with our clinic and I am green with reading some of the other blogs out there of those who are pregnant and have a clinic who, or at least seem to, give a shit.

I continue to rationalise in my head that at some point it will change.  I am just hoping that change will come before we the dollars run out.

So here's hoping Ms. V has worked a major miracle and has a jelly bean growing inside her.  The Veuve is still sitting there quietly, waiting to be opened with the news eventually comes.

Reading back - this entry is a little on the negative side, so I will remain upbeat and end on a positive note.  The Melbourne flat has now gone unconditional and will settle in mid November which is a great relief.  My sister and nephews (including the one who predicted that we would have a little boy back in our third post) are visiting next week which I am very excited about.  I'm hoping my nephew will be able to give us an update on when the baby might be coming....As soon as I know, I'll let you guys know too!

That's the door - a gastronomic distraction from the blogging and surrogacy world awaits.  Until the next exciting(?) installment....

GBLC

Deja vu?

Okay - so we're back in the 2WW again for the third time.

We received e-mail confirmation on Tuesday that our embryo transfer occurred on Monday 15th October.

3 buns were put in the oven, all Grade 1, with 1 x 4 cell, 1 x 8 cell and 1 x compacting.

We have also just received the news that some of our friends received the fantastic news that their little one arrived on Tuesday night and have since flown out to Mumbai to meet their new bub.  Congratulations boys!  We look forward to meeting the little tyke once you get back.

The good news keeps coming with an offer being made on our flat in Melbourne - which we have accepted.  So things are looking good at the moment after a very trying few months, both on the Surrogacy front and with some quite unsettling times at work following major restructuring.  Thankfully, we're not directly affected, but the number of colleagues and staff has certainly created an air of low morale, angst and unhappiness - as you would expect! 

Sydney was a great break and we really enjoyed the time out.  The downside was coming back to reality - but there's plenty to look forward to in the next few months and we're hoping that we can add a pregnancy into things to look forward to.

So for now, we wait until 27/28/29 October we we'll get the result of the bHCG test.

Fingers and toes people....fingers and toes!

Test result...oh, hold on

So our two week wait ended on Tuesday.  We received a call mid-afternoon on Tuesday from the clinic, advising us the test had in fact been conducted on Monday and they had a result.  "Oh good," I thought, "at least we have avoided waiting an extra day for the news."

Alas, we hadn't avoided a wait at all.  In fact, what we were confronting was a longer wait.  I assume you're probably scratching your head now!  The long and short of it is that our beta HCG result was equivocal - right on the lower threshold of pregnant but not enough to be sure.  As such, we must wait for the results from the repeat test (to be done today, Wednesday), which we would receive on Thursday.

I know that, if positive, the next 8 months will seem like one looooong wait, but it would have been amazing to have had a definitive result from the first test.  Then again, a 'tending toward positive' result is much more gratifying than a definite 'negative', so I guess the maxim 'Be careful what you wish for' probably applies fairly squarely to our situation!

Anyway, the bottom line is that some extra patience is required.  Despite the fact this virtue isn't one that I would say I have in great quantities, there isn't much more we can do right now!  We will cross our fingers for another day and see what news comes our way tomorrow.  Here's hoping for a celebratory Thursday night dinner which includes that bottle of Veuve Cliquot we've had in the fridge for months!

GBLC

Here we go again...(2WW)

Today we received confirmation that the straw of GB's 3 embryos defrosted, reanimating to give us 2 Grade 1 Morulas.

The embryos were transferred on the 16th of August, although we are a little concerned that they weren't Blastocysts as was expected after day 5 and we did expect the clinic would wait the additional day to transfer (as suggested in their correspondence).

While we're trying to stay positive that we'll be successful, the continuing disorganisation and conflicting information coming from our clinic is not instilling a level of confidence one would hope to have at this stage in the surrogacy journey.

I have every hope that the embryos and the surrogate are of good quality and am positive about them - but the people we expect to apply their expertise and skill in the helping us become parents  is beginning to fall far short of expectations.

So today marks the beginning of the two week wait and we should know on the 29th of August if we have been successful.  Fingers, toes and everything else crossed.  Thanks to all those who have been reading the blog and your continued support.


GBLC

The obligatory 2WW post

Today we recieved great news.  Of the 22 mature eggs retrieved, all were fertilized with 18 considered Grade 1 - 10 for GB and 8 for LC (me). Yesterday was the 3rd day since fertilisation and during the afternoon 3 embryos were transferred into Ms B.  The rest go off to the freezer.

And thus, our 2 week wait (2WW) begins.  Everything to this point has gone well, so let's hope our roll continues.  Bring on the 24th of June.

Fingers & Toes people!