tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54701176948613454362024-02-18T20:55:22.840-08:00Us 2 and you makes 3Our journey to becoming parents through Thailand surrogacyGB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-52572315525169097472014-09-11T21:03:00.001-07:002014-09-11T21:03:32.964-07:00The fourth trimester and our last post<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been an incredibly long time since I last posted (over 5 months).<br />
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I have thought about writing a number of posts along that 5 months, but didn't, as there was a lot going on and we were pretty dissatisfied with our agency along the way. In the end, they abondoned us and left us to work through the exit process and co-ordinate the surrogate mother ourselves through a combination of private interpreters and lawyers. Newlife didn't even have the decency to contact our SM after she was discharged from the hospital post c-section to see if she was okay. We only knew this as we remained in contact with her and regularly asked. So much for Surrogate Mother care that they quite happily took a fee from us for. A lot of the posts would have been fueled by emotion - so I am glad I didn't post. I would strongly discourage people using Newlife in any other country the operate in (India/Georgia/Ukraine/Poland/Israel and apparently now Mexico) based on our treatment in the weeks following our son's birth.<br />
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And on that note, and first and foremost, our son arrived safe and sound, on schedule on 5th August 2014. He was born at 4.49pm at a healthy 3.32kg. He really is perfect and each time I think about our time at the hospital I get teary (which is not like me at all). After 3 days he was released from hospital and we were thrust into parenthood; with G saying, "this morning we didn't have a baby and now we do. It's weird". And it was.<br />
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Like all new parents, the first few days was a blur of what the hell have we done and what the hell do we do? He hasn't pooed, he's only eaten 20mls, why is he so sleepy? I was/am slower to adapt than G who was like a fish to water. My stress and anxiety levels reached epic proportions - beyond anything I had ever experienced before. I thought I was ready to become a parent, and having waited so long to meet our boy - I thought I would be instantly in love and on to it. Not so. This thing didn't fit nice and neatly into a schedule and every time we left the apartment we had to ensure we had this and that and usually the kitchen sink. He just eat and slept and didn't give anything back. No smiles, not even a lovingly stare. I know you're all thing "yeah.... what's your point, surely you knew this before he was born". And I did... but I was also thinking about this without the fog of sleep deprivation or having an dormant emotional bomb go off in my mind.<br />
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But we powered through like all new parents do and both agreed to leaving the apartment as a family once a day to not take the easy road and continue to push our boundaries. We didn't want to get concerned or anxious everytime we had to go out because we now had a baby. We like to travel and want our son to take on that value. Sometimes that means pushing yourself our of your comfort zone and realise it's not as bad as you think it is going to be. After 5 weeks in Bangkok, our bub had probably seen more of it that most adults have. And the locals in Suanplu started to know him, with the owner of NAGA cafe (a regular dinner venue of ours) referred to him as "The Professor" due sharing the same name as Patrick Stuart in X-men). It's all too easy to hide away from the world in those first few weeks and develop cabin fever. We committed to not doing this and encouraged each other to go for a walk once a day and get drinks/beer or water to just get some fresh (humid) air and have a break, have a Thai massage or go shopping. Usually, we went for coffee each day as a family and that worked quite well.<br />
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Hovering over the first few weeks of parenthood was the uncertainty created by the Thai Military around babies born via surrogacy. For a few weeks we were faced with the stark realisation that G may need to live in Thailand for 3-6 months while we attempted to get a court order. We began looking for longer term, cheaper accommodation that would meet our families needs. The prospect of this happening added another level of stress and distress on top of trying cope with becoming a parent.<br />
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A ray of hope appeared about 3 weeks following bub's birth and we heard that the Australian embassy and a law firm had a established a process with the Military to allow parents of children born through surrogacy to leave provided certain documentation requirements were met. We quickly sought to pull all of this documentation together and leave Thailand before the process changed or some other scandalous surrogacy story came out, causing the military to change their minds.<br />
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Thankfully, on 5th September (as originally scheduled and booked) we headed to the airport with all our documentation in hand and checked in for our flight. After getting to immigration we were escorted to a secondary desk as the mother was not travelling with us. We presented all of our documentation and after around 20 minutes of thorough checking and copying, passports were stamped and we were free to go! The level of relief was immense and all of a sudden, we realised we were actually going home.<br />
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We boarded our Thai airways flight bound for Australia and as the doors closed, we knew we were another step closer to home. Thankfully, there were 200 spare seats on the plane, giving us plenty of room to spread out. Bub was a perfect baby on the way home. Slept through the whole way, only waking to feed at 2am Bangkok time (as he does most nights) and then went back to sleep until we arrived. No issues with ears and we couldn't have been happier for him.<br />
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So here we are, back home in Oz and finally settling into parenthood at home. Bub has seemed to have settled well back into his new room.... although he has started 'fussing' in the late afternoon/evening with and hour or so of crying. Prior to this, he only really cried when his nappy was changed or when we put him to down to sleep for about 10 mins. Based on my extensive google research, this is apparently normal and thankfully temporary.<br />
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With all the disruption and uncertainty in Thailand, it's very unlikely that there will be a sibling project. I just need to know that I can cope with one child, let alone think about adding to the family. The other problem we have is that we have 25 frozen blastocysts that we really don't know the whereabouts of now ALL IVF has been shut down. Various facebook information and posts suggest that they are still at ALL IVF's lab in Bangkok and completely safe. Once things settle down,we'll look into things to ensure we know where the embryos are.<br />
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And that concludes our surrogacy journey. Thank you for following us for so long. We started this blog back in February 2012 prior to signing up with SI in Mumbai. 2 and half years later, we have a happy and healthy baby boy and still can't believe our luck that with all the odds against us, we got to the destination in the end. We wish you well on your respective journeys - which ever stage you are at, and hope you too realise your dream of becoming a parent through surrogacy.<br />
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Best wishes<br />
GBLC<br />
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GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-79066661343541280692014-03-30T04:20:00.001-07:002014-03-30T04:20:52.273-07:00It's been a while<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Tomorrow we reach 20 weeks pregnant.<br />
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It's not that I haven't wanted to post, it's just that we feel so cautious.<br />
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I was talking to one of my oldest friends last week and she was saying that we appear really happy. I said we are ... but I have this constant lingering worry in the back of my mind. She said, "Oh that.... that's normal.... welcome to parenthood". Her first born has just reached 7 month. My friend's father was in the room when we were talking about my feeling and he said... "Yep, welcome to parenthood. That never goes away!".<br />
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Wait.... hang on a sec. No-one warned us about this. My friend's father said that you get used to it, but it's always there.<br />
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And that's how I feel. We're overjoyed that we've reach this milestone and our SM is doing so well. We found out that we're having a boy and that all his measurements put him bang, slap into the middle of the bell curve. But I can't help worrying if things will keep going well, or if something bad is just around the corner. I'll admit that this is not consuming me, but like I said above ... more like a lingering feeling I can't shake. I think as the pregnancy continues to progress we'll gain more confidence. We'll just be glad once we're holding him.... I hope!<br />
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We've tried our best not to buy anything, but my constant desire to be organised is starting to override the chronological aspect of we're we are at in the pregnancy. It hasn't helped that one of my best friends is as excited as we are and keeps buying things and sending me the latest social media "deals of the day" baby bargains! We've now amassed a number of adorable baby outfits and as of this week, a month's worth of newborn nappies. It certainly hasn't stopped me thinking about the nursery decoration though. <br />
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Right from the beginning, I wanted something bright, colourful and unisex. The wardrobe in the soon to be nursery is made up of 3 doors that were previously painted a horrid shade of blue. Prior to the pregnancy, I had already given 1 coat of white paint to cover the hideous colour. But that wasn't enough and it would need another coat. Once the news arrived that we were having a baby, I delayed any further decoration until we knew if bub was going to stick around. Fortunately, he decided to hang on ... .literallly... at which point I thought I could put a baby themed mural on the doors. The rug was acquired from my one of the social media "deals of the day". This weekend saw the completion of the mural. Here is a pic of it below.<br />
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The pram, cot, change table, baby monitor, night light and accessories are all on layby.... so providing everything keeps going well, the nursery will be finished in 4 weeks time.<br />
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We're currently awaiting our next scan scheduled for the 8th April.<br />
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Apart from that, not much else has really been happening. We continue to go to work and do all the normal boring stuff, intermixed with the occasional delivery from Amazon with a selection of baby books and planning our "babymoon" to reminisce on life pre-baby. Otherwise, we just continue to focus forward and plan the the baby shower which is locked in for Queen's birthday weekend (Saturday 7th June)<br />
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Until our next update.... take care.</div>
GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-1025744052264837902013-12-21T23:43:00.002-08:002013-12-21T23:47:53.125-08:00We haven't been here before<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been an exciting few weeks and we hope it continues.<br />
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At the end of our 2 week wait, we finally received the news that our surrogate had a positive HCG test with a result of 242.2. Last Tuesday, the test was repeated a second time (1 week after the first test) and we received advice that the SM was still pregnant, with the HCG number having increased to 1518.2. Based on the HCG calculators all over the internet, the little nugget was doubling it's HCG every 63 hours - well with in the 48-72 hour expected time frame.<br />
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So Monday brings us to the 6 week pregnancy mark - and all things going well will see the first ultrasound being done on Tuesday to see if a heartbeat exists. The results of course will probably come through the next day on.... yes, you guessed it, Christmas day.<br />
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We've been reluctant to write anything over the last few weeks as we didn't want to tempt fate and tell the world only to write one of those dreadful posts saying that the pregnancy was no more. But the community has been so supportive and a number of readers following our journey have wanted to know what happened.<br />
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So there it is.... we never thought we'd get to this point. It's taken such a long time but things are good. We realise there is a monumental distance to travel still and we're not out of the woods by any stretch . But each day further is another step in the right direction.<br />
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Thanks for your ongoing support and hopefully we'll have a heartbeat on Wednesday.<br />
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We hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a happy and safe new year.<br />
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GBLC</div>
GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-48200780486809075642013-12-01T02:07:00.000-08:002013-12-01T02:08:34.063-08:00Well here we are again in the 2ww!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This is the 5th time we've been in the two week wait (2WW) - although more correctly it will be the 10 day wait this time.<br />
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We arrived back from Bangkok this morning after a very long, but largely uneventful flight. I always hate overnighters. I am one of those people that just can't sleep on planes - even with chemical intervention.<br />
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Our egg retrieval was scheduled for Monday the 25th of November. To provide us with plenty of time, our flights were book for the 23rd - ensuring we built in plenty of time for any delays that may arise. However, on Thursday the 21st the clinic sent us into a panic as the ED was showing signs the egg pick may be sooner than scheduled - perhaps on the 24th - with her 25 follicles (per the Thursday scan) suggesting the right time might be on Sunday.<br />
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Naturally, we started looking at changing flights or re booking new flights as if we had to be there on the morning of Sunday the 24th - our arrival on Saturday night (actually 1 am Sunday morning) would result in a very slim margin of error should our flights be delayed. Particularly given we had to transit through Sydney and do the hellish domestic-to-international transfer with a 1 hour 45 minute window. After getting a bit frantic and stressed, the news arrived late Friday afternoon that Egg Retrieval would be Monday 25th as scheduled.<br />
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We stayed at The Eastin Grand Hotel in Sathorn/Yanawa - joined by a pedestrian bridge at Surasak BTS station. It was an exceptional hotel - and we're pretty hard to please. Here's a pic of the infinity pool on the 14th floor.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs-b_AeeuYipZ4lyxwPjwdQyVtbnpgdydZuXxUS6tf1V7OYbalfcoi99DbmxujpT99Inp5FcgS7QaIyTGE7BLf6VHy7OtOno_29kG-BNa-n_7s9bWAwbKvh4n_7vKsFcJxFEA3J2LeVwA/s1600/Pool+Photo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs-b_AeeuYipZ4lyxwPjwdQyVtbnpgdydZuXxUS6tf1V7OYbalfcoi99DbmxujpT99Inp5FcgS7QaIyTGE7BLf6VHy7OtOno_29kG-BNa-n_7s9bWAwbKvh4n_7vKsFcJxFEA3J2LeVwA/s640/Pool+Photo.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pool at the Eastin Grand Sathorn Bangkok</td></tr>
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This hotel is one stop away from NewLife - but also has easy to access the All IVF clinic (where the "magic drop" happens) which is near Phloen Chit station.<br />
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On Monday morning we headed to All IVF. Unlike our Indian experience, this was a far more organised, clean and sleek operation. The staff were efficient but pleasant - and were very informed of what was going on. Our details were on hand, they were expecting us and they had things moving along well. They seemed to be in control. When we were in India last year - the only person who actually knew what was happening was Jay from SI. I <i>know </i>in India the doctors had no clue what was going on or who they were "treating". In India we never really knew what was happening next - but Thailand has been a completely different experience. <br />
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So following our ED's retrieval on Monday, the numbers were as follows:<br />
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Astonishingly, 49 eggs were retrieved. Of these</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>3 were GV (germinal vesicle) stage (very immature)</li>
<li>44 M2 (mature)</li>
<li>2 MI (less mature)</li>
</ul>
The next day, we were advised that 41 eggs had fertilised.<br />
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That same day we went to the NewLife offices to meet with Stephanie and Na to finally put some faces to names - but also have the privilege of meeting our ED and SM. Our ED was lovely, had a wicked sense of humour and was just a lovely girl. The SM was somewhat more shy, but assured us she was very confident of getting pregnant and was so pleased to be doing this. Let's hope she's right. Both were elated when we presented them with some gifts of perfume. If anyone reading this is going to Thailand for Surrogacy, a gift of perfume (we gave them both CK) will be a guaranteed winner. Here are some pics:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMi7SL_rjAQZ8coHX_8Z1Q17xaqvzKR014pmJozWNLY9NDwA9M47bvLfsnpBsLDmClnWJcZVbis0Mj-kBZixa2iF4HAKA3rvKny3pjw8YciTx9S69fJL3OmyNlFe8fFHTpLi2Gruut_ns/s1600/IMG_4535.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMi7SL_rjAQZ8coHX_8Z1Q17xaqvzKR014pmJozWNLY9NDwA9M47bvLfsnpBsLDmClnWJcZVbis0Mj-kBZixa2iF4HAKA3rvKny3pjw8YciTx9S69fJL3OmyNlFe8fFHTpLi2Gruut_ns/s400/IMG_4535.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">GB and the ED</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2jg8MtFs0oNJya8uW8lIZrBjhANY4GHqBrt49Dda8wW9gX2B86fJ_nJoO6Qdyt5rCAVwcoRgJowFD-Oe4jcK7aNWk_JcI0SxNCsQWXeOkDYHeDVY4u9pE59abilhj7StKVSwy3oEYNC0/s1600/IMG_4543.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2jg8MtFs0oNJya8uW8lIZrBjhANY4GHqBrt49Dda8wW9gX2B86fJ_nJoO6Qdyt5rCAVwcoRgJowFD-Oe4jcK7aNWk_JcI0SxNCsQWXeOkDYHeDVY4u9pE59abilhj7StKVSwy3oEYNC0/s400/IMG_4543.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">GB and our SM</td></tr>
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By Thursday (Day 3) the embryos were still trucking along, with a total of 27 embryos exhibiting a combination of grades 1 & 2. The other 14 were still growing with good grading, albeit at a slower rate. On Saturday we were informed that of the 41 embryos - 27 had reached blastocyst stage - with the 2 best being transferred and 25 frozen.<br />
We're trying to steer clear of google as studies around the probability of success against number of eggs retrieved throws up some interesting results.<br />
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This time we're just relying on the skill of the embryologists and the luck of the universe that this time will be the one.<br />
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After our Bangkok duties - we headed down to Hua Hin for some reflection and R&R for the remaining few days in Thailand. I don't think we'd go back to Hua Hin (for the simple fact that there isn't a great deal to do there and the beaches there are nothing compared to Ko Samui and Phuket), but at only 2.5 hours from BKK it offered a nice way to spend our last few days before heading home.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2024AGj21BtK67U1RgScgnpfiGAsoW53agziqUwbzX8-OyaFvww_za-enRZHdQBrcXkGfyVz5LnvzYGOQCoRSahYtA9rPsfCVUv4WYr2Sl4LMPP2Gg-VMIkD5XnXliWttetHXqP5kaKk/s1600/IMG_4607.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2024AGj21BtK67U1RgScgnpfiGAsoW53agziqUwbzX8-OyaFvww_za-enRZHdQBrcXkGfyVz5LnvzYGOQCoRSahYtA9rPsfCVUv4WYr2Sl4LMPP2Gg-VMIkD5XnXliWttetHXqP5kaKk/s400/IMG_4607.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Devasom Resort Hua Hin (actually Cha Am)</td></tr>
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So - once again, we wait for the outcome of our latest transfer. <br />
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Fingers crossed!!!<br />
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GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-11937516057759918522013-09-15T00:53:00.000-07:002013-09-15T00:54:25.039-07:00A new direction<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It has been some months since we last posted.<br />
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This was partly because we were unclear about which direction we were going and partly because we were a little disenchanted with the whole process of trying to have a baby.<br />
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Financially we were very hard hit by the failure of India. All up there wasn't much change from $40k AUD. <br />
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During the months waiting to see if anything would change in India, we decided to look at options domestically. Having been lucky enough to have a close friend willing to be an egg donor here in Oz, we proceeded to get cost estimations from a number of Australian IVF clinics to see how much it would be to do "altruistic surrogacy". If you think international IVF clinics are expensive, Australian clinics blow them out of the water. Not to mention to the two tier pricing structure for infertile couples vs couples pursuing surrogacy! And that's before taking into account any Medicare rebates, legislated counselling, legal fees and court costs. Their profits also maximised by not allowing more than one embryo transfer at a time (not without significant reason to do multiple embryo transfer). Nevertheless we continued to research with the final barrier being to find a willing surrogate. This proved to be the most difficult part and eventual failure of us deciding to undertake surrogacy in Australia. Despite the apparent "altruism" aspect of surrogacy in Australia (as commercial surrogacy in Australia is illegal in all states except the Northern Territory) our estimation of costs would have exceeded $60k. Sadly, the only people making money out of surrogacy in Australia are the IVF specialists. The selfless women doing all the hard work stood to gain very little - and in a number of cases, were actually out of pocket for doing someone else a "favour".<br />
<br />
So we looked abroad again. The US was still out on financial grounds as were a number of European countries only offering surrogacy services to married couples. So our final option - like most same sex couples - was now limited to Thailand.<br />
<br />
In previous posts, we touched on concerns and our reluctance to go to Thailand mainly because of the influx of clients following the visa changes in India and the absence of IP protection afforded through legislation. However, the visa situation in India has taught us that the situation around surrogacy can change quite quickly. Given Thailand has a draft bill on the table, so to speak, we thought now is a good a time as any to move forward with our plans before we were pushed out of the market altogether.<br />
<br />
We have chosen NewLife as our clinic. They have a number of years' experience doing ART in India, Georgia and the Ukraine and a solid history of making IPs become parents. So in November 2013 we, once again, embark on the surrogacy journey and head to Bangkok. This time it will be in a country we're familiar with, a process we know all too well and have the benefit of hindsight to guide us on our way. So far, the experience with NewLife has been entirely different than dealing with Surrogacy India. The simple fact that we're not berated for asking questions and responses don't come from their receptionist is a good start. The responsiveness is very good and their process and pricing structure appears far more transparent than SI's. Here's hoping the next part of the journey goes just as well.<br />
<br />
So here we go again. Let's hope the second time around is far less disappointing than our first experience.<br />
<br />
xx GBLC.<br />
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GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-48983127655026790742013-05-08T04:36:00.000-07:002013-05-08T04:37:48.190-07:00Which way now?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been 3 months now since our 4th and final Indian attempt. The Indian bureaucracy machine is working as expected with the prospect on any resolution regarding unmarried couples access to Indian surrogacy a dist<span style="font-family: inherit;">ant reality now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Each day, we are glad of our move away from SI. After our last attempt, we received no correspondence from them until we received this e-mail in early April:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: blue;"><i><span style="font-family: georgia,serif;">Dear GB & LC,</span></i></span></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: blue;"><i><span style="font-family: georgia,serif;"><br /></span></i></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: blue;"><i><span style="font-family: georgia,serif;">Greetings of the day!</span></i></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: blue;"><i><span style="font-family: georgia,serif;"><br />
</span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: blue;"><i><span style="font-family: georgia,serif;">We have been
referred about your blog through a couple and have gone through it.
There are some points that we agree upon and have noted it and working
on it and some point that we have a different perspective. We wanted to
know how you would like to proceed as we have your frozen embryos. If
you are confident that you would not like to proceed with us then we
would request you to fill up the embryo and semen discard forms.</span></i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I think this e-mail sums up the clinic in a nutshell. Reading between the lines:</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">1. We've read the blog and don't care to provide any apology or comment about your claims because we have done nothing wrong</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">2. Are you going to pay us more money to cycle again?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">3. If not, fill out the forms to <span style="font-size: small;">dispose of your em<span style="font-size: small;">bryos<span style="font-size: small;">/sperm</span></span> </span>so we no longer have to correspond with you.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">At no<span style="font-size: small;"> time have <span style="font-size: small;">we been contact<span style="font-size: small;">ed <span style="font-size: small;">b</span>y either Dr Ya<span style="font-size: small;">sh<span style="font-size: small;"> or Dr Sudhir to discuss <span style="font-size: small;">our comments or claims</span>.<span style="font-size: small;"> Th<span style="font-size: small;">eir amb<span style="font-size: small;">ivel<span style="font-size: small;">enc<span style="font-size: small;">e is deafening<span style="font-size: small;">, </span>arrogance <span style="font-size: small;">obvio<span style="font-size: small;">us<span style="font-size: small;"> and <span style="font-size: small;">disinterest in their client welfare very cl<span style="font-size: small;">ear. <span style="font-size: small;">Again<span style="font-size: small;">, it makes <span style="font-size: small;">me wonder how SI treat their <span style="font-size: small;">Surroga<span style="font-size: small;">tes i<span style="font-size: small;">f this is how they <span style="font-size: small;">treat the "grav<span style="font-size: small;">y <span style="font-size: small;">train<span style="font-size: small;">"<span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">We<span style="font-size: small;">'re not prepa<span style="font-size: small;">r<span style="font-size: small;">ed to go <span style="font-size: small;">down the Tha<span style="font-size: small;">iland route just yet. The influx of IPs that would have otherwise gone to <span style="font-size: small;">India worries us about corners bei<span style="font-size: small;">ng cut and fl<span style="font-size: small;">y</span>-by-the<span style="font-size: small;">-night ope<span style="font-size: small;">rat<span style="font-size: small;">ors out to rip <span style="font-size: small;">peo<span style="font-size: small;">ple off. So we're considering domestic options<span style="font-size: small;"> of altrustic <span style="font-size: small;">traditional or ges<span style="font-size: small;">tational surrogacy. <span style="font-size: small;">I<span style="font-size: small;">t might be a little more tricky and time consuming, but at least we'll <span style="font-size: small;">know that if we do<span style="font-size: small;"> get pregnant the Surrogate will have access to the some of the wor<span style="font-size: small;">ld's</span> best healthcare and we'll <span style="font-size: small;">know with abso<span style="font-size: small;">lute <span style="font-size: small;">assu<span style="font-size: small;">rance that sh<span style="font-size: small;">e is not living in a share house or be away from her family. I'm <span style="font-size: small;">n<span style="font-size: small;">ot saying <span style="font-size: small;">whether this is good or bad, or if clinics in India are doing any<span style="font-size: small;">thing dodgy, but for our p<span style="font-size: small;">iece of mind it means a lot.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">It<span style="font-size: small;">'s great to see that everyone <span style="font-size: small;">that star<span style="font-size: small;">ted blogs around t<span style="font-size: small;">he same time as us<span style="font-size: small;">, now have 3-4<span style="font-size: small;"> month old <span style="font-size: small;">babies exceeding any expectation<span style="font-size: small;">s they ever had of being a p<span style="font-size: small;">arent.<span style="font-size: small;"> Congr<span style="font-size: small;">atulations to all those that have come before<span style="font-size: small;"> us and <span style="font-size: small;">endur<span style="font-size: small;">ed this <span style="font-size: small;">incredible and emotional journey.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I am sure our time will come and when it does, I'm sure all the trial<span style="font-size: small;">s and tribu<span style="font-size: small;">lations to get <span style="font-size: small;">to <span style="font-size: small;">fina<span style="font-size: small;">l de<span style="font-size: small;">s<span style="font-size: small;">tination will be<span style="font-size: small;">come d<span style="font-size: small;">istant memories and parent<span style="font-size: small;">hood will exceed our expect<span style="font-size: small;">ations too!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: georgia,serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <i><span style="font-family: georgia,serif;"> </span></i></div>
GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-12285970851508417892013-02-04T02:45:00.000-08:002013-02-04T17:18:52.105-08:00More than four reasons not to use Surrogacy India<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Four is sometimes associated with luck - such as a four leaf clover. In Chinese culture, the number 4 is considered unlucky. And then there is the four elements of existence - earth, air, fire and water.<br />
<br />
Whatever the significance of that number, today we got the results of our fourth attempt (third FET).<br />
<br />
Once again, we received a negative result. We're generally okay. As you would expect, it is disappointing. But surprisingly, it is a massive relief. Why? Let me explain.<br />
<br />
Although it is easy to blame the clinic for negative results in a moment of emotionally fuelled disappointment, I can no longer overlook the glaring incompetence of dealing with this ART clinic - and let's use that term fairly loosely. And just to clarify; I'm not necessarily assigning blame here - but I honestly believe that ART pregnancy is a combination of luck, fertility and professional medical intervention and assistance. I think there are plenty of other clinics in India that provide this service better than SI.<br />
<br />
For months I have posted about our journey, alluding to our struggle with trying to get pregnant, but never fully conveying or explaining about how difficult it has been working with Surrogacy India (SI). Most of you out there will have been on a steep learning curve when it comes to understanding what everything meant when you received e-mails from your clinics explaining a test result of x or the endometrial lining is y thick. SI provided little to no explanation of anything. Of course I asked the interweb, but when asking medical questions directed to SI about certain results, the response from their admin staff (the doctors pretty much don't talk to you at all after you've signed up) was utterly abhorrent, usually incorrect and frankly quite reckless when running a business providing medical services. Although I am not a clinician, I work in health and the information provided to clients by SI is disgraceful. I recognise that we are not talking about the same levels of health care as Australia, but describing our experience with SI to a number of friends going through IVF in OZ was met with utter disbelief and profound sorrow for us. Perhaps I was being overly dramatic?<br />
<br />
To paint a further picture of the integrity of SI, the evidence:<br />
<br />
1. Surrogacy India pretty much outsource all of their IVF, embryology and imaging. The latter is not unusual or unexpected - but the former came as a surprise to us after SI claimed during our initial investigation of clinics that they performed IVF "in our lab in Mumbai". The fact is, it is not their Lab at all. They outsource this entirely. And buried in their contract they outline that they would not take any responsibility for third parties "including, but not limited to, the IVF lab.......". Obviously this sparked confusion for us - particularly when presented with the written confirmation that they did everything "in our lab in Mumbai" - and how they could say that they don't take responsibility for what we are paying them to do. After no fewer than 20 e-mails with their qualified (severe sarcasm when saying that word) legal team, did we manage to resolve the issue with GB's contract to make them take responsibility for actions of the IVF lab. After negotiating this term with GB's contract it was near impossible to get the same passage changed in my (LC's) contract as the admin staff that were working in the "legal team" that week, were unaware of GB's contract as well as being unfamiliar with general legal terms or contracts. This quality service was charged at $1,800 USD per surrogate. Initially believing that they take care of the ART process and take responsibility for our genetic material, it became quite unsettling when we found out the truth.<br />
<br />
2. On departing India, an Australian couple who had visited SI earlier that week had to leave the original copy of their SM/IP contract behind while SI tracked down the SMs husband to sign the contract. They had subsequently done this and when we visited the SI offices they asked us to take the original copy back to Australia with us and post it to the couple once back in OZ. Apart from being appalled by the absolute lack of confidentiality, we strongly declined and explained how inappropriate that was. What came as more of a shock was when the same situation arose 5 days later when we went to leave (regarding the SM husband not having signed), they proposed sending it home with another Australian couple. Needless to say, the contract arrived a week later FedEx'd from Mumbai after some very honest words were had with Dr Ajja before leaving. They advised that they had done us "a favour" by not charging us for the courier service.<br />
<br />
3. On our second attempt, we innocently asked when the FET would take place. The SI team had advised that the surrogate had finished her menses (at around the 3rd of the month) so I thought it would be around the 14/15th of that month. To our shock we were told that it was going to be around the 21-23rd from the trusty receptionist (again no contact or QA from the doctors at SI). Obviously this seemed strange, so we pursued it further and were then lectured about how the doctors know what they're doing at that have delivered XXX number of babies. After becoming exasperated dealing with the SI admin team (they essentially don't answer questions properly), we decided to leave it - until 8 days later when we were told that the scan had been done for our SM's lining and the transfer would occur on the 16th of that month. We then asked to speak to the doctor as we were very confused by now; and they simply refused to speak with us. The result came back negative and we heard nothing further from SI team until we approached them for our 3rd transfer - to which we received an invoice before any further details would be discussed. Again, no further medical contact since signing up.<br />
<br />
4. On our third attempt we chose a 25 year old surrogate, that defied the theory of relativity and was a few months off 27 when her HCG test was e-mailed to us. The age on her initial blood test results and the Surrogate Mother profiles all showed 25 years of age - which was one of the key reasons we chose here; apart from the fact she had been an a successful surrogate before. On her hCG results her date of birth showed that she was nearly 27. The error was explained by SI as a "technical error". Happy for anyone to explain what that means?<br />
<br />
5. In addition to the incorrect DOB on the HCG report, we also discovered a different surrogate name on the test result than the SM we chose. This was also explained as a "technical error" to which their solution was to change the name on the report.<br />
<br />
6. Experienced surrogate fee - SMs that have been an SM before. This was another exhausting issue that remains unresolved. SI have information on their google site that provides the following in respect of experienced surrogates:<br />
<br />
"<span style="font-size: small;">They [<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Sur</i><span style="font-size: small;"><i>rogate Mothers</i><span style="font-size: small;">] </span></span></span>normally prefer to
offer services at $2500 - $3000<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">more than <span style="font-size: small;">a fresh fir<span style="font-size: small;">st time surrogate. This is not included i<span style="font-size: small;">n the package price quoted</span>". </span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">This<span style="font-size: small;"> cost is pa<span style="font-size: small;">ssed on<span style="font-size: small;">to the IPs wit<span style="font-size: small;">h the cl<span style="font-size: small;">ear <span style="font-size: small;">w<span style="font-size: small;">or<span style="font-size: small;">ding that this extra fee <span style="font-size: small;">is determined by the surrogate - <span style="font-size: small;">which I thought w<span style="font-size: small;">oul<span style="font-size: small;">d then be <span style="font-size: small;">payable to the surrogate</span></span></span></span>. <span style="font-size: small;">When I received the SM/IP agreement, <span style="font-size: small;">this was missing from t<span style="font-size: small;">he SM payment s<span style="font-size: small;">chedule and despi<span style="font-size: small;">te numer<span style="font-size: small;">ous <span style="font-size: small;">e<span style="font-size: small;">-mails to the<span style="font-size: small;">ir legal team (23 <span style="font-size: small;">emails in fact)<span style="font-size: small;">, <span style="font-size: small;">they would<span style="font-size: small;"> only put the following clause into the contract<span style="font-size: small;">: </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: white;">2</span><span style="background-color: #ffff33;"><span style="background-color: white;">.4 In case of experienced surrogate, an additional amount of USD 3000 shall be made<span style="font-size: small;"> </span>by the Intended Parents".</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: #ffff33;"><span style="background-color: white;">I as<span style="font-size: small;">ked this to be change<span style="font-size: small;">d <span style="font-size: small;">to...</span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">2.4 In case of experienced surrogate, an additional amount of USD 3000 shall be made<br />
by the Intended Parents <i>wholly payable to the surrogate. This is in addition to the amounts outlined in clause</i><span style="font-size: small;"><i> 2.3 </i>[the normal payment schedu<span style="font-size: small;">le]</span><span style="font-size: small;">"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br />
<br />
They wouldn't change this nor would they explain where the additional money went. They did however, feel compelled to explain how many babies they had delivered and how transparent they were. Despite the condescending tone of the e-mail, it was clear that the SM would never see a cent of this payment "they preferred" to offer their services at. When I pushed again, they advised that they would be sending my query to the accounts department to answer??? WTF?<br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">
7. On attempt number 4 we received our FET rep<span style="font-size: small;">ort, which despite being performed on 21st of January 2013, showed 17th December 2012 on the transfer report. SI's explanation was<span style="font-family: garamond,serif;"> "<i>Because of new
circular came for single father surrogacy, to avoid controversy our IVF
lab put December's date instead of putting 22-January</i>"<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span>Alongside this questionable practice (which was done for SI's benefit and not ours) you'll see another inconsistency of the transfer date by 1 day - but I had estimated this was probably due to another one of those pesky "technical errors".</div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
There are many other instances where their responses/practices/behaviours have been pretty unpalatable. I always tried to rationalise this as "India". But after 10 months interacting with SI, I can't accept that this is India. In fact, I think India would be unfairly represented by the actions of SI. Although cathartic as it is to finally write all of this, it saddens me that we missed our overall objective of having a child and had to learn the hard way.</div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
So maybe we're being overly critical or maybe we're being entirely reasonable after shelling out thousands of dollars and pouring our heart and soul into this process. All we have to show for this is a trip to India, a hard life lesson and 307 emails from SI sitting in a gmail account. I realise others who have gone through SI may have had an entirely different experience and I am pleased for them. But I pity anyone who chooses to go with SI, particularly if they have read details of our experience.</div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
I strongly question SI's integrity as in nearly every transfer we did with them, there were questionable practices apparent. I dread to think how they actually treat their Surrogates. So we close this chapter on our lives and chalk it up to a very expensive, emotional and financial experience. I do intend, however, on passing the details of their behaviour on to SI's accreditation body (ICMR) to ensure that these practices are stamped out.</div>
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We move forward now with some trepidation about where to from here. As we mentioned in our post <a href="http://us2andumakes3.blogspot.com.au/2013/01/the-12-month-wrap-up.html">12 Month wrap up</a> India's window of opportunity appears to have closed for the time being, really leaving the USA or Thailand as further options. The USA is out purely on financial grounds - which leaves Thailand. We both have very fond memories of time spent in Thailand (we've travelled there 5 times) and I would love to experience the hospitality shown to us a tourists in undertaking ART and Surrogacy. But this time, we will be asking a lot more questions and going in eyes wide open.</div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
Goodbye SI, it's been well, overwhelmingly disappointing. To those considering Indian clinics, I would avoid SI like the plague. Yes they have a history of babies, but don't believe for a second that this has anything to do with their professional intervention or credentials. It's wholly reliant on the outsource IVF lab, which they're happy to take the credit for the pregnancies the lab achieves, but no responsibility for any actions by the lab that don't result in pregnancy. </div>
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Thanks for readership and we'll appear again in the near future.</div>
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GBLC. </div>
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GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-73129402541889702632013-01-22T03:15:00.002-08:002013-01-22T03:17:26.744-08:00Lady Luck - you have an appointment!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Attempt number four went ahead yesterday.<br />
<br />
3 frosties were taken out of the freezer comprising:<br />
<br />
2 x 8 cell Grade 1<br />
1 x 6 cell Grade 1<br />
<br />
All transferred into the surrogate as expected. <br />
<br />
Hopefully this is the attempt where Lady Luck shows her elusive face.<br />
<br />
The hCG test should be done on Saturday 2nd February, with the results available (I'm guessing) on the Monday 4th of February. <br />
<br />
So once again - we endure the 2WW.<br />
<br />
And now for the comic relief!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9RKiH4cPJoIh3u63PHXEstdVmnxapoZe_D8foUbij69m-asxbiadJEQ2vEfNY4Oo3yj40D-6RlM-GB3yeoV27PIoRNyH2TXEkOVYRwZhOlnfbEuebc5wjUfcw0eEnH0RXJ4EmfZK6VKs/s1600/video-gmaes-baby-guys-with-kids-ecards-someecards.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9RKiH4cPJoIh3u63PHXEstdVmnxapoZe_D8foUbij69m-asxbiadJEQ2vEfNY4Oo3yj40D-6RlM-GB3yeoV27PIoRNyH2TXEkOVYRwZhOlnfbEuebc5wjUfcw0eEnH0RXJ4EmfZK6VKs/s400/video-gmaes-baby-guys-with-kids-ecards-someecards.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A reality I'm sure I can cope with.... I think!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
See you soon!<br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-56554979868713324562013-01-10T01:01:00.001-08:002013-01-10T03:22:24.195-08:00The 12 month wrap up...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well here we are 3 months on from our last post in a new year and with time to reflect on the events of the last 12 months. We hope you all had a relaxing Christmas and ate way too much like we did. We headed to Bali just before Christmas for another one of those "much needed" breaks following continued uncertainty around rationalisation of public sector spending as well as another negative result in early November.<br />
<br />
Here's a few snaps!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHuhtAPFLO7VaTR9pVAvYmkhjCEpMsUU-0_N_jvftT4ZqwoS5HAG0rHN3x6Btd238UHAQiHZojrNoXKCdiGg7JDtR7qMIxaWUnpQd7GLHC23sDdX7IkYuchy38NWJkN5wh6gApNKiU4Fo/s1600/IMG_3167.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHuhtAPFLO7VaTR9pVAvYmkhjCEpMsUU-0_N_jvftT4ZqwoS5HAG0rHN3x6Btd238UHAQiHZojrNoXKCdiGg7JDtR7qMIxaWUnpQd7GLHC23sDdX7IkYuchy38NWJkN5wh6gApNKiU4Fo/s400/IMG_3167.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Good Ol Bintang, the local brew</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWEjm0gic53pExKvQflPQNlpSHueexg9AdD6PdU4JR79SJtB9a4o0b_uM3aqpcEGTMjdqqwfejNMz_ZPVNJeH0N5QTcwarbzhL3cOxSte6C1zNG6pNz9tt9mErgsu95vWizpV7x4-9f6I/s1600/IMG_3185.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWEjm0gic53pExKvQflPQNlpSHueexg9AdD6PdU4JR79SJtB9a4o0b_uM3aqpcEGTMjdqqwfejNMz_ZPVNJeH0N5QTcwarbzhL3cOxSte6C1zNG6pNz9tt9mErgsu95vWizpV7x4-9f6I/s400/IMG_3185.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Traditional Indonesian boat in sea near our hotel</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfnG_eQIFOBIm18VYLdQ-zQi9ZjG-jAZKxxVx1uewKT2yfEfHPKkMd5iao-POtQ0Ce4JYl65_ZKw29hjlneVKxiVAkvS7wwckUQgJxS1AtaTpAvEEVelYxRd7J0IctaqHmR0dWozgxUMk/s1600/IMG_3206.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfnG_eQIFOBIm18VYLdQ-zQi9ZjG-jAZKxxVx1uewKT2yfEfHPKkMd5iao-POtQ0Ce4JYl65_ZKw29hjlneVKxiVAkvS7wwckUQgJxS1AtaTpAvEEVelYxRd7J0IctaqHmR0dWozgxUMk/s400/IMG_3206.JPG" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">GB - walking back to the hotel from Legian</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAhFj0HgSHxKMoeRwufXcq1FEOSpCRTfBbJSn3A1qKRUGBwRLnUVeO2qjGDyvpdXTMGle4GzqHMaM5s9JoAzRoy8xAXVW1OF83jBBYHlKPnykteFBzPt9SIsgtINcMcu2MH5_FLWrgG2Y/s1600/IMG_3224.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAhFj0HgSHxKMoeRwufXcq1FEOSpCRTfBbJSn3A1qKRUGBwRLnUVeO2qjGDyvpdXTMGle4GzqHMaM5s9JoAzRoy8xAXVW1OF83jBBYHlKPnykteFBzPt9SIsgtINcMcu2MH5_FLWrgG2Y/s400/IMG_3224.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brilliant sunset on the west coast of Bali</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
While we were away, we discussed and reflected quite a lot the events of the last 12 months. It was around this time last year that we decided which clinic we were going to go with and started the process of arranging blood tests, paperwork and financing.<br />
<br />
It was a time filled with excitement and possibilities. A year on and those words of our first post back in May are all as true as they were back then.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue;">"....I (and my partner) expect it
be frustrating, expensive, exhilarating, stressful and emotional. But
above all life changing."</span><br />
<br />
It was and still is. I guess to some degree you expect the good with the bad, with equal measures of emotional ups and downs. I can't say that has really been our experience over the last year; with a larger amount of disappointment and stress than exhilaration and happiness. It has been life changing, but probably not in the way we had expected. Knowing what we do now, I realise how naive we were going into the situation and how many things we would change if we were starting over. Of course this only comes with experience, hindsight and a shit load of money being spent. We really expected that in a few short weeks we'd be doing the baby pick up in March/April. 3 transfers on and we're no closer to that goal.<br />
<br />
We have followed a number of blogs concurrently with our journey, with the vast majority of bloggers now preparing nurseries, buying little people clothes, planning baby showers and on their way back to India to pick up their babies. I can't lie and say that we're not jealous or don't feel a twinge of disappointment when we read these blogs, but simultaneously it does provide us with the hope that it may happen to us one day. I know it sounds terrible, but what makes it worse are those who started well after us and are already posting ultrasounds and sharing positive HCG results. When I thought it would be an emotional journey,these were not the emotions I was hoping to have!<br />
<br />
So, again we dust ourselves off and go for round 4 in a few weeks time. We have a very definitive plan should we not get some positive news. Complicating the situation now is the enforcement of the visa issue now presenting itself following a letter sent by the Police to all ART clinics on the 17th December 2012. The letter essentially states that unless you've been married for at least 2 years (same sex marriage excluded) ART clinics should not be accepting clients for surrogacy. The reason being, surrogacy should be undertaken on a 'medical visa'. Medical visas approved in relation to surrogacy are only provided to those who have been married for greater than 2 years. Until now, most single people (straight, gay, male, female) would travel on 'tourist visas' - without issue. The letter from the police has requested that all ART clinics provide client details (passport no's, addresses, names etc) and may be charged or fined if they are found to be accepting clients who don't meet the conditions of the letter. For the uninformed, the real problem arises when parents go to the police to obtain an exit visa for their newborn. At this point, the police ask to see any number of documents, including the parents' passports and the visa they are travelling on. Now the problem is, the visa crackdown conflicts with law which permits people except gay people to undertake surrogacy (gay males usually identify as 'single' males for the purposes of surrogacy). So two things will resolve this - the law changes to reflect the eligibility of visas or the visa eligibility changes to reflect the law. Or, both agencies puff their chests, and the situation reverts back to the way it was. People who aren't married for more than 2 years travel on tourist visas.<br />
<br />
I guess if we are successful with this transfer, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But this is India we're talking about and the conflicting law with another Government department is never a good look. If it doesn't resolve itself, some personal financial offerings (let's call them 'fines') will probably work wonders.<br />
<br />
In light of the Indian visa situation, we are looking at other options such as Thailand, but compared to India it appears the industry is pretty immature and presently unregulated. USA still remains too expensive and non-commercial gestational surrogacy in Australia (if done above board) is a lengthy and costly process. Apparently Panama is becoming a new medico tourism destination - but seems to have similar limitations to that of Thailand and based on my limited research remains unproven as a surrogacy destination at this point in time.<br />
<br />
So lots to think about. We're off to the USA for Easter to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. As on most of trips - we'll spend a fair bit of time planning what we'll do with our future without the interruption of the day to daily grind. We'll be doing a lot of driving - so they'll be plenty of opportunity to discuss things. So we have a few things to look forward to as well as FET in a few weeks time.<br />
<br />
Thanks for your continued readership and following our longer the usual surrogacy journey. Until next time..take care.<br />
<br />
<br />
Cheers GBLC <br />
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GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-42312582579628260212012-10-31T03:38:00.000-07:002012-10-31T03:45:10.901-07:00Hat trick of failure<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We received our third negative result tonight.<br />
<br />
I know we, and I'm pretty sure our friends, are tired of hearing the same old story. There's only so many times and ways people can commiserate with you about your unmet expectations. There's only so many times you really want to hear that something you imagined might never materialise. <br />
<br />
I realise it's not the end of the world, and that heaps of other people have been in the same situation, and that there's plenty of time for more attempts. Nonetheless, it's a very hopeless and impotent feeling we're left with today.<br />
<br />
I know I (GB) am struggling with the absolutely unverifiable trust that is implicit in this process. It doesn't sit well with my personality or background. And the issues our clinic is inflicting on us compound those feelings. I feel backed into a corner, financially and personally, and I wish it weren't so.<br />
<br />
As before, time will pass and things will seem substantially less dire. But, for the time being, I'm just really disappointed.<br />
<br /></div>
GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-74144239752991984282012-10-30T01:05:00.000-07:002012-10-30T01:08:33.629-07:00So are we pregnant?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well your guess is as good as ours!<br />
<br />
I'm writing from a pretty angry place right now as SI advised us, only after we e-mailed this morning asking when our test results would be available, that the bHCG would only be done today. The test was supposed to be performed on Saturday.<br />
<br />
No e-mail, no phone call - no chance of knowing why there has been a delay unless we e-mailed them to ask what was going on. And even then, it was a simple one liner late this afternoon saying it will be done today and the result would be provided tomorrow. <br />
<br />
And this is what our normal experience has been like with SI since June. No consideration, no care and no communication. I recognise the massive opportunity we have being able to access surrogacy in India but we are beginning to face the stark realisation that we have made a monumental fuck up by choosing SI. From all I've read on other blogs, there are more things to worry about in the process than whether or not the people trying to help you have a baby 1. care, or 2. will bother communicating with you once they have the money deposited. And really, communication issues are just the tip of the iceberg and leads me to concerns about the other people involved - our surrogate.<br />
<br />
Most people experience the emotional highs and lows of surrogacy arising from their attempt at getting pregnant and watching the pregnancy develop. I feel that we now have the additional burden that if we did get pregnant tomorrow that we have to face with this level(?) of support for a further 8 months.<br />
<br />
Over the last few months I refrained from criticising our clinic, thinking the culture is different and our expectations need to be adjusted - and they have. But the truth is basic communication and consideration are business fundamentals in any country and they are simply not present here. It is very isolating to feel this way as there are limited options of venting the level of frustration we're experiencing. Generally family and friends don't understand fully what you're going through, and close friends, while being endlessly supportive, always play the role of trying to keep you positive. There's no surrogacy ombudsmen, no regulator and no chance that things will improve in the near future for us.<br />
<br />
I read blogs about people going through SCI and can't believe how lucky they are to have a clinic who can communicate effectively and actually talk to them after a negative result. Following our final bHCG test on our last attempt - there was no correspondence from SI at all until we approached them about another attempt 6 weeks later. I don't expect a full blow by blow dissection of the what happened from FET to HCG result - but I did expect a phone call or e-mail - saying something along the lines of "We're sorry your received a negative result. When you're ready to move forward and discuss your approach please contact us and we can have a chat." We suggested this after our first negative, but alas it has fallen on deaf ears.<br />
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I'll end there because as cathartic as this is, I could probably go on for hours. So thanks for listening and tomorrow we prod again to remind them to send our result...but I can't say at this point in time I'm overly optimistic about the outcome.<br />
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GBLC</div>
GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-57262887120687763502012-10-27T02:25:00.001-07:002012-10-27T04:45:15.990-07:00The only time weekends suck<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Tonight, I'm looking forward to a comfy night in while the rain buckets down outside and GB heads off to a music concert. The movie is ordered through Apple TV and pizza should be on its way anytime soon. So I thought I'd scribe a blog entry while I wait, listening to the familiar sounds of Gardening Australia on the TV in the background.<br />
<br />
Our SM should have had her beta HCG test today to find out if she's pregnant. Based on past experience, SI wont have the results to us until Monday as their office is closed on a Sunday. Hence the title of the blog. As if the 2WW isn't enough, timing would have it that we have to wait an extra day. Needless to say, we're fairly experienced with this part of the process being the 3rd transfer and all.<br />
<br />
Over the last week, I've reflected on the last 12 months since we made the decision to undergo surrogacy through India. I must admit, the optimist and naivety in me expected that we'd be pregnant by now. Although financially we prepared for the worst case scenario that it wouldn't happen on the first attempt, I don't think we ever actually thought we would be at our 3rd attempt and the prospect that that too, might come back negative. <br />
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I think I have read nearly every surrogacy blog out there and the backstory to everyone who has successfully gone through the process. Although statistically someone will always get pregnant on the first attempt - which happened quite a bit on the blogs I've read - I was hoping we wouldn't be in the group that still aren't pregnant after 3 attempts. I have to admit, I'm kinda numb to the whole transfer process these days. The only thing at the moment that elicits any level of emotion is opening up the financial tracking spreadsheet to see how much we've spent and how much longer we can continue. It's not the emotion we are really wanting to experience at this stage in the journey. I am unable to get excited at all about the process as it seems so fraught with disappointment and with odds stacked against you. Add on top of that continuing "communication" and "integrity" issues with our clinic and I am green with reading some of the other blogs out there of those who are pregnant and have a clinic who, or at least seem to, give a shit.<br />
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I continue to rationalise in my head that at some point it will change. I am just hoping that change will come before we the dollars run out.<br />
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So here's hoping Ms. V has worked a major miracle and has a jelly bean growing inside her. The Veuve is still sitting there quietly, waiting to be opened with the news eventually comes.<br />
<br />
Reading back - this entry is a little on the negative side, so I will remain upbeat and end on a positive note. The Melbourne flat has now gone unconditional and will settle in mid November which is a great relief. My sister and nephews (including the one who predicted that we would have a little boy back in our third post) are visiting next week which I am very excited about. I'm hoping my nephew will be able to give us an update on when the baby might be coming....As soon as I know, I'll let you guys know too!<br />
<br />
That's the door - a gastronomic distraction from the blogging and surrogacy world awaits. Until the next exciting(?) installment....<br />
<br />
GBLC<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-92049492351456832422012-10-18T02:18:00.001-07:002012-10-18T02:18:43.048-07:00Deja vu?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Okay - so we're back in the 2WW again for the third time. <br />
<br />
We received e-mail confirmation on Tuesday that our embryo transfer occurred on Monday 15th October.<br />
<br />
3 buns were put in the oven, all Grade 1, with 1 x 4 cell, 1 x 8 cell and 1 x compacting.<br />
<br />
We have also just received the news that some of our friends received the fantastic news that their little one arrived on Tuesday night and have since flown out to Mumbai to meet their new bub. Congratulations boys! We look forward to meeting the little tyke once you get back.<br />
<br />
The good news keeps coming with an offer being made on our flat in Melbourne - which we have accepted. So things are looking good at the moment after a very trying few months, both on the Surrogacy front and with some quite unsettling times at work following major restructuring. Thankfully, we're not directly affected, but the number of colleagues and staff has certainly created an air of low morale, angst and unhappiness - as you would expect! <br />
<br />
Sydney was a great break and we really enjoyed the time out. The downside was coming back to reality - but there's plenty to look forward to in the next few months and we're hoping that we can add a pregnancy into things to look forward to.<br />
<br />
So for now, we wait until 27/28/29 October we we'll get the result of the bHCG test.<br />
<br />
Fingers and toes people....fingers and toes!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-72504496369143263452012-10-03T01:58:00.001-07:002012-10-03T01:58:42.775-07:00Change Tack<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well after two unsuccessful attempts, we've decided to consider our options in moving forward.<br />
<br />
After 2 attempts with the same surrogate using GB's embryos, we've decided to change tack and try a new surrogate with my (LC's) embryos. <br />
<br />
On Saturday, it was confirmed that our new choice of surrogate was available and that the transfer was likely to take place around the 20th of October. The SM is a proven surrogate along with having two children of her own - so we're hoping that this helps our chances of becoming pregnant this time round.<br />
<br />
So it's just a matter of waiting until then.<br />
<br />
We're looking forward to going to Sydney next weekend for a much needed break from the goings on of life to date. Work for both of us has been kinda crazy of late, and with the continued home renovations and the ups and downs of the surrogacy process, a mini escape will be just the ticket.<br />
<br />
So we wish all those out there trying good luck and those already pregnant a safe and happy delivery of your new additions.<br />
<br />
Until our next post.....ciao.<br />
<br />
GBLC.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-34194845892145553842012-08-30T00:57:00.000-07:002012-08-30T00:57:58.444-07:00No Veuve tonight....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The second beta today showed declining HCG levels.... so it seems there'll be no pregnancy this time round.<br />
<br />
The little one just didn't want to stick.<br />
<br />
So the bottle of Veuve will stay inside the fridge door for a little while longer until we decide what to do next.<br />
<br />
Thank you for all your well wishes and we'll see you here again soon.<br />
<br />
Cheers<br />
<br />
GBLC</div>
GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-86485620669359701522012-08-29T03:00:00.000-07:002012-08-29T03:02:41.101-07:00Test result...oh, hold on<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So our two week wait ended on Tuesday. We received a call mid-afternoon on Tuesday from the clinic, advising us the test had in fact been conducted on Monday and they had a result. "Oh good," I thought, "at least we have avoided waiting an extra day for the news."<br />
<br />
Alas, we hadn't avoided a wait at all. In fact, what we were confronting was a longer wait. I assume you're probably scratching your head now! The long and short of it is that our beta HCG result was equivocal - right on the lower threshold of pregnant but not enough to be sure. As such, we must wait for the results from the repeat test (to be done today, Wednesday), which we would receive on Thursday.<br />
<br />
I know that, if positive, the next 8 months will seem like one looooong wait, but it would have been amazing to have had a definitive result from the first test. Then again, a 'tending toward positive' result is much more gratifying than a definite 'negative', so I guess the maxim 'Be careful what you wish for' probably applies fairly squarely to our situation!<br />
<br />
Anyway, the bottom line is that some extra patience is required. Despite the fact this virtue isn't one that I would say I have in great quantities, there isn't much more we can do right now! We will cross our fingers for another day and see what news comes our way tomorrow. Here's hoping for a celebratory Thursday night dinner which includes that bottle of Veuve Cliquot we've had in the fridge for months!<br />
<br />
GBLC<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhndF1hCqqhBE4QLx5piSMipflaxhfRI7XY97t16JY9Hks_ngY7tdhs6zVBzLhEZa7XaLHsdwyO8cP6hBQbtJeB76RMeuvIjVwuXQrWs3GZDdwSRThFIoeLTfKZjJPVhw2a2AvvXcmoPK4/s1600/veuve_clicquot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhndF1hCqqhBE4QLx5piSMipflaxhfRI7XY97t16JY9Hks_ngY7tdhs6zVBzLhEZa7XaLHsdwyO8cP6hBQbtJeB76RMeuvIjVwuXQrWs3GZDdwSRThFIoeLTfKZjJPVhw2a2AvvXcmoPK4/s320/veuve_clicquot.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
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GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-82163989239609773512012-08-17T01:28:00.000-07:002012-08-25T00:38:31.445-07:00Here we go again...(2WW)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Today we received confirmation that the straw of GB's 3 embryos defrosted, reanimating to give us 2 Grade 1 <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morula">Morulas</a>.<br />
<br />
The embryos were transferred on the 16th of August, although we are a little concerned that they weren't <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blastocyst">Blastocysts</a> as was expected after day 5 and we did expect the clinic would wait the additional day to transfer (as suggested in their correspondence).<br />
<br />
While we're trying to stay positive that we'll be successful, the continuing disorganisation and conflicting information coming from our clinic is not instilling a level of confidence one would hope to have at this stage in the surrogacy journey.<br />
<br />
I have every hope that the embryos and the surrogate are of good quality and am positive about them - but the people we expect to apply their expertise and skill in the helping us become parents is beginning to fall far short of expectations.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img height="262" id="il_fi" src="http://www.dreamstime.com/clock-watching-thumb720064.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="400" /></div>So today marks the beginning of the two week wait and we should know on the 29th of August if we have been successful. Fingers, toes and everything else crossed. Thanks to all those who have been reading the blog and your continued support.<br />
<br />
<br />
GBLC<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div>GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-39924187352687341632012-08-11T18:45:00.000-07:002012-08-11T18:45:14.456-07:00Take 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Yesterday we received confirmation of our impending second transfer date. At this stage it is looking to be Thursday 16th August. We have decided to attempt to grow the embryos to Blastocyst (5 day old embryos) stage in the hope to improve our chances of becoming pregnant. Obviously the downside to this method is an increased chance of multiple pregnancy. At this stage, we'll cross that bridge if we come to it.<br />
<br />
So only a few days away now before the transfer takes place.<br />
<br />
Here's hoping.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned....</div>GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-24607249933890249802012-07-15T21:14:00.002-07:002012-07-15T21:16:14.574-07:00Back on the horse<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So a day or so after our last post, we finished digesting the news and accepted that this is just the way that it is. Pregnancy is a very strange beast as you can do everything in your power to create the perfect circumstances (or at least appear to have them) and then nothing happens.<br />
<br />
As someone who has always found that through diligence and hard work you get the result you want, I find the pregnancy and IVF process irreconcilable with this thinking. So time to change my view from that to - it will happen when it's ready to happen. Now for me, this is very difficult. As a results driven person, putting things out into the universe (different people have different labels for it) or waiting for luck to occur really challenges me. But low and behold, I accept this position and will go forth with a new found outlook.<br />
<br />
The follow up from the clinic following our negative result was utterly atrocious. So much so, a very terse and frank e-mail was sent through explaining our expectations from here on out. We think this message has been received loud and clear, but time will tell how successful we've been.<br />
<br />
That said, we are due to cycle again in around 3-4 weeks (date to be confirmed). The surrogate is currently on BC and is due to come off the pill in around 4 days, before the priming meds start again. We're planning on defrosting and going to blastocyst this time and hope to follow the success of <a href="http://charlieandbrent.blogspot.com.au/">Brent & Charlie's</a> recent attempt.<br />
<br />
So for now, we're relying on lady luck lining up her ducks in preparation of our early August transfer.<br />
<br />
Thanks to all of those out there who have sent some very considerate messages and posted comments. It has really shown the support from the community out there and we're thankful that you've taken the time to read about our story.<br />
<br />
Until the next exciting installment, take care.<br />
<br />
GBLC <br />
<br />
<br /></div>GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-13014842057394324772012-06-27T01:28:00.002-07:002012-07-04T03:21:12.117-07:00Negative<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
What more can I say? It seems what ever luck we had has run out and we received a negative yesterday. It was disappointing to have to prompt SI on a number of occasions over the last 2 days to get our results. Pretty unimpressed by their lack of responsiveness.<br />
<br />
Thoroughly disappointed with our result is an understatement and I can't fathom how people who have gone through 4-5-6 attempts don't feel completely soul destroyed by the experience. <br />
<br />
I really thought we had a really good chance given the success we had with our ED and 3 grade 1 embryos transferred. Apparently not.<br />
<br />
I'm going to keep this short as there is a lot I could say right now that might seem bitter and angry, so I will leave it there. This is a reality of IVF and sometimes the punt doesn't pay off.<br />
<br />
Good luck to the others out there who are cycling and we'll be back here again sometime in the future.<br />
<br />
Cheers<br />
<br />
GBLC<br />
<br /></div>GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-29660863410517327832012-06-12T21:58:00.001-07:002012-07-04T03:22:08.327-07:00The obligatory 2WW post<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today we recieved great news. Of the 22 mature eggs retrieved, all were fertilized with 18 considered Grade 1 - 10 for GB and 8 for LC (me). Yesterday was the 3rd day since fertilisation and during the afternoon 3 embryos were transferred into Ms B. The rest go off to the freezer.<br />
<br />
And thus, our 2 week wait (2WW) begins. Everything to this point has gone well, so let's hope our roll continues. Bring on the 24th of June.<br />
<br />
Fingers & Toes people!<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOzhSsDhQ1roFYhfaxrDBLQIiJgT5J20Z8VWB-dSUNf6yu9p2v_wPNXkawoWeuEDzW-KvzSEDd-kJA3hYylqvwY59XdSwIDTuAP6u0lvYMWm2XPD4PAy_IbUNquIBc6dVsGrurdMa76zU/s1600/clock+watching.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOzhSsDhQ1roFYhfaxrDBLQIiJgT5J20Z8VWB-dSUNf6yu9p2v_wPNXkawoWeuEDzW-KvzSEDd-kJA3hYylqvwY59XdSwIDTuAP6u0lvYMWm2XPD4PAy_IbUNquIBc6dVsGrurdMa76zU/s400/clock+watching.jpg" width="283" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-37943399949096674482012-06-09T04:52:00.003-07:002012-07-04T03:24:15.753-07:00India Day 6 - Farewell Mumbai<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today we leave Mumbai. We were supposed to be here until Tuesday, but things were completed earlier than expected. Rather than sit around in Mumbai, we have decided to return home to Australia as we are due to holiday in Japan in 2 weeks and this will give us some time off at home until we head out for Tokyo.<br />
<br />
Today we went to Lilavati hospital to do our second and final 'donations' as the ED was due to have the eggs retrieved today. Everything went to schedule and all up we were at the hospital for around an hour. Around 12pm, Dr Yash emerged from the IVF lab and advised that she had retrieved 20 eggs, however the maturity of them was yet to be determined. Thrilled was an understatement and we were then faced with the predicament of how to best use the eggs. As had always been the plan, GB was to be the father. However, based on the number of mature eggs and any prospect of me (LC) wanting to be a parent in future she asked if we wanted split the crop. She had mentioned this could be a possibility earlier in the week when we first visited the clinic, so we had already decided that if we got a large number of eggs we would split them.<br />
<br />
We later received an e-mail from SI letting us know that they actually retrieved 22 <b>mature</b> eggs. We are ecstatic to say the least. Of all the couples that were cycling at the same time of us, we were the only couple who would be present for the ED pickup as a number of EDs had been delayed. So we have been doubly lucky and we hope this continues to the embryo transfer on Monday.<br />
<br />
After the leaving the hospital, we headed over to the SI head office to meet our surrogate. It was all happening today. GB grew considerably exasperated in the Mumbai traffic, with this taxi trip being our longest and most painful yet. We essentially spent 1.5 hours in a traffic jam to get from Bandra West to Bhandup West - probably about 20kms. <br />
<br />
We finally arrived to meet our surrogate and sign the agreement - our final page in the Mumbai chapter.<br />
<br />
Below is a picture of the momentous event:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYJ-k7KXnC9TgKaaMCt0ozb_rsKv2DPubyA1GFfgW0hqBjfsrg_8sryCDRt13FXdva8RzNQBqT1uJ_JQK72ilndbO8RcOrnuGLXy9MC1aYftb6aflxH0pY8WLEZpgi-DRJtlFiIrUzidg/s1600/IMG_2713.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYJ-k7KXnC9TgKaaMCt0ozb_rsKv2DPubyA1GFfgW0hqBjfsrg_8sryCDRt13FXdva8RzNQBqT1uJ_JQK72ilndbO8RcOrnuGLXy9MC1aYftb6aflxH0pY8WLEZpgi-DRJtlFiIrUzidg/s400/IMG_2713.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">GB on the left, while our Surrogate "Ms B" signed the paperwork</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
There was some time to ask her a few questions and give her and her family members some gifts to show our gratitude<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQi9RRXktXR-5-Vyd2nCwtfJIANfHRSPAoySXlr0nCJmw6m6Wdwc3HN_qQFUGOoeFu4kygVoDyYLEjDgWU6yorAbDA_8Xe470Zz81-vgRSRvO5heFlEOa2HaSlN6CNpUxA2guI4pb29Kg/s1600/IMG_2718.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQi9RRXktXR-5-Vyd2nCwtfJIANfHRSPAoySXlr0nCJmw6m6Wdwc3HN_qQFUGOoeFu4kygVoDyYLEjDgWU6yorAbDA_8Xe470Zz81-vgRSRvO5heFlEOa2HaSlN6CNpUxA2guI4pb29Kg/s400/IMG_2718.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ms B's timing was a little out (she blinked), but she appeared pleased with the gifts.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The gifs for her family:</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiU6j2Hsztr3m84oe-xdu1aXGR9bd7XD4nDUTvAjvAV8HRWNZ1h9IhkAO_Qw7rTww09HjeEetTdReyvABW8Y6FqNzcTMULJ3GvwAPWrho9WVdUrPvvc_rBAxv7JjyNCTkuH5j4n_sSlkA/s1600/IMG_2706.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiU6j2Hsztr3m84oe-xdu1aXGR9bd7XD4nDUTvAjvAV8HRWNZ1h9IhkAO_Qw7rTww09HjeEetTdReyvABW8Y6FqNzcTMULJ3GvwAPWrho9WVdUrPvvc_rBAxv7JjyNCTkuH5j4n_sSlkA/s400/IMG_2706.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The gifts</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
The three of us:<br />
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi42zTHi0vF_hgv_F4fnbycc3395LHTQxhvath0kbYkb8PRCBCyZFffYQWxt9zK_4mA_jwWJQ4Vf8c4duifL0Rq3i5u3aP0wEXF41JcWnJs7TEXuFqgIfQKCqMRB5lMYdXmjSI3D_YWGOc/s1600/IMG_2720.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi42zTHi0vF_hgv_F4fnbycc3395LHTQxhvath0kbYkb8PRCBCyZFffYQWxt9zK_4mA_jwWJQ4Vf8c4duifL0Rq3i5u3aP0wEXF41JcWnJs7TEXuFqgIfQKCqMRB5lMYdXmjSI3D_YWGOc/s400/IMG_2720.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Incidentally we're both only 5'9 - and our surrogate is supposed to be 5'1. Hmmmm?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
And alas, we close the chapter on this part of the journey and head home. Monday, the next chapter begins, when we find out how many embryos we have, their grades and when the transfer goes ahead. Exciting times to come.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned....<br />
<br />
<br /></div>GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-91257658627175522652012-06-08T10:49:00.000-07:002012-07-04T03:26:12.779-07:00India - Day 5<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The pressure to keep these posts exciting and interesting is becoming somewhat of a challenge. After 5 days in Mumbai we're fast running out of things to do. Today was another 'free' day, so we went shopping at R-City shopping centre in East Mumbai. After a number of hours trying on clothes at exceptionally low prices with multiple purchases ensuing, we headed back to the hotel.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
At breakfast this morning, we ran into the same couple who were at the clinic we mentioned in the blog on Day 3. In an attempt to share knowledge and experiences, GB invited them for a drink this evening. They were to meet their surrogate today and weren't sure of what time they would be back, but would be happy to have a drink.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We finally caught up at around 6.30pm and enjoyed a few peaceful beers and some nice food in the cavernous hotel cafe/bar. Over the course of four hours we shared our experiences of how we arrived at India, why we were undergoing surrogacy and what our hopes were for what SI would hopefully bring. It's incredible how similar our experiences have been to date, including the blow by blow similarities of our Mumbai tours and the shops we were "invited" to check out. Tomorrow they leave for Goa before returning to their home country. Good luck guys, we hope it works out for you.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Tomorrow we are off to Lilavati Hospital to make another donation where the ED is due to have the egg retrieval done in the late morning. This means, that by tomorrow afternoon the eggs (lots of them we hope) will be fertilised and hopefully our future baby will be growing. Months of planning, research and effort will finally come to it's exciting crescendo. While that is happening, we'll head over to SI's head office in the afternoon to meet our surrogate and sign some paperwork.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then - apparently - we're done. There's nothing more we can do and it is all over to SI, the surrogate and the IVF Lab. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As much as we are glad we've come to Mumbai - it isn't a city for tourists and we're hoping to change our flights to leave on Sunday. If we can't, we might head to Goa for a few days - rather than spending them in Mumbai. We'll see what happens. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Either way, so far so good and here's hoping everything tomorrow goes fine.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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</div>GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-13627040594754366382012-06-07T09:25:00.004-07:002012-06-07T09:25:53.068-07:00India - Day 4<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today we had no surrogacy business to attend to and as mentioned in our last post, we had booked a driver for the day to see the sights of Mumbai.<br />
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Once again, we overindulged at breakfast before our driver promptly arrived at 10am as agreed. We really didn't have a set itinerary, but had a fair idea of what we wanted to see and knew the driver had beat this path many times before. So we left it in his hands and off we went.<br />
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It made us feel very lucky to have grown up in a country where life is a lot less difficult than what residents of Mumbai experience on a daily basis. Hats off to them!<br />
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Below are a few snaps of the trip. I think the photography course I took last year is finally starting to pay off.<br />
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Until the next post.....<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4QozcQ0f7Myd5bv69CKPjf68ShexQMdP59XCS1S1N6uJlXCoI1QBfmmua1XqE9KI-vMJ5ZWXx6556Nr6qvy2KDm1V1gtlkFTBR-buENKGHGZtDZVtf1Ap7F4dWYZ1oSA5Cg5T7pbTjXM/s1600/IMG_2645.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4QozcQ0f7Myd5bv69CKPjf68ShexQMdP59XCS1S1N6uJlXCoI1QBfmmua1XqE9KI-vMJ5ZWXx6556Nr6qvy2KDm1V1gtlkFTBR-buENKGHGZtDZVtf1Ap7F4dWYZ1oSA5Cg5T7pbTjXM/s400/IMG_2645.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The open laundry of Mumbai.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Unfortunately, child labour exists nearly everywhere</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Gateway of India<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh63MjEG-Kx11rhUPFeUjjwluYn2DpAjCWovo9J9dRoxS9c0LEc0hpefMl1HHIhsysF0bmBwZcgaoSzEILgA7fxrkxuxucLO8ROxucIY4IB1NVBX2bWHJE_g3Ojs9VlvZH6N44CrPqCiY0/s1600/IMG_2682.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh63MjEG-Kx11rhUPFeUjjwluYn2DpAjCWovo9J9dRoxS9c0LEc0hpefMl1HHIhsysF0bmBwZcgaoSzEILgA7fxrkxuxucLO8ROxucIY4IB1NVBX2bWHJE_g3Ojs9VlvZH6N44CrPqCiY0/s400/IMG_2682.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Taj hotel</td></tr>
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<br /></div>GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470117694861345436.post-46929699887626440122012-06-06T09:09:00.005-07:002012-06-06T09:09:44.569-07:00India - Day 3<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well there are a few things you can control in this world and then there are things you can't. Abstinence for example can be controlled. The effects of it can't. <br />
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This is quite a necessary but usually overlooked element when it comes to the surrogacy journey blogs. I'm putting it in here because it would only happen when you don't want it to and sometimes you have to look at the funny side of things. Maybe it's not really funny - but we thought it was.<br />
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Abstinence is not generally an issue until your forced to abstain. Then all you can think about is abstaining. Well sometimes your body refuses to accept this 'forced' position and as such takes matters into it's own hands (figuratively speaking of course). The body usually does this during sleeping hours as all boys would know. And contrary to popular belief, this affliction isn't confined to years during puberty.<br />
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Anyway, to avoid dancing any further around the issue, last night, the 4 days of abstinence ended involuntarily overnight for one of us. Despite my dire warnings earlier in the blog of using Google, we soon learned that although this would reduce the volume of swimmers, it wouldn't affect quality. Quality has never been a problem, so today we look at the funny side to this experience and accept there are things that you just can't control.<br />
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As expected, our taxi arrived to whisk us off to the lab in Bandra West promptly at 10.15am. On arrival, in the waiting room, were another couple we had seen a few days prior at our hotel. They too, were going through the 'collection' episode today. They had experienced donor issues and we found ourselves feeling lucky with the relative 'smooth' ride we'd had to date. We did what we needed to do and after filling out some paper work, we heading back to the hotel. Feeling a slight degree of delayed jet lag, or perhaps just tiredness from the frenetic 48 hours that had transpired, we spent a lazy afternoon chilling at the hotel.<br />
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During this evening we received the swimmer results for both of us and as suspected, the volume had decreased by a factor of 2 from the tests performed in February for one of us - but motility etc in % terms was consistent with earlier tests. So there is plenty there to work with. Thank goodness. But having two guys generally doubles your chances of (in most cases anyway) so another reason why we could look at the funny side of this experience.<br />
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Tomorrow we have booked a driver and cab for the day to see the highlights of Mumbai. Hopefully the rain will hold off and we get some great snaps of this electric city.<br />
<br /></div>GB&LChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02466164077858269083noreply@blogger.com1